Measuring Up As a Mom

My first workshop was called Measuring Up As a Mom. We all do it. Peer pressure doesn't end in high school. We compare ourselves to our friends, to other moms, to women at church, to actresses and even to tv moms, and we even compare our husbands with other husbands. It is a vicious cycle.

The first measurement mentioned was Counterfeit Measurement- which would be when we listen to the media, or when we compare ourselves to tv moms/wives. We forget those are fake, pretend roles- made to look like a nice picture. At the left I have a picture of a "perfect mom". I don't know about you, but I do not clean house, and care for my children in heels. LOL!! It is not real life. In Deuteronomy it says, "You must have accurate and honest weights and measurements so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." The land God is giving us is MOTHERHOOD. But, we have to remember that just as God gave some people certain talents, and others, other talents, there are going to be moms that have skills that I don't have. Likewise, I will have skills that other moms don't have. So the comparing game is just that, a game, because there are no straight across the board comparisons when it comes to moms, kids, and husbands.

We need to be willing to trade success for significance. Success is external...I looked it up at dictionary .com, and one definition read the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. While another was, and read this VERY carefully, the termination of attempts or endeavors.Wow! I don't ever want to think I have been successful at mothering, if it means terminating my attempts at raising them to be godly men. The synonyms of success are this: achievement, fame, triumph. Now, I am not saying to not teach your children to strive to be successful at all they do, but our goals for success should be in light of eternity. We should want to work for God's approval, not mans. Colossians 3:23 ²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, If we "work for the Lord" in ALL we do, we will more than likely go above and beyond what we would've with just man's approval in our mind.

Now, going back to where I wrote we should be willing to trade success for significance.....significance is an internal achievement of a sustainable character trait. We want our legacy left to our children to be significant, rather than only successful. The payout for mothering with significance in mind is personal growth, wisdom, integrity, patience, and kindness. We want to have a life, filled with joy, regardless of the season.

We should also look at ourselves through God's eyes. Proverbs 16:2 says All a mom's ways seem innocent to her, but motives are weighed by the LORD.

The 2nd topic was Comparative Measurement- Whining, complaining and comparing to other women is a very destructive attitude. Comparing ourselves is the root cause of insecure emotions or feelings. 2Corinthians 10:12 says, We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

We can stop this comparing attitude by taking a fresh look:
*at others- the grass is not always greener
*at what we DO have- count our blessings
*at others in need- SERVE
*at enough- saying no
*at myself- Be my BEST me!!
Let's trade comparison for contentment- Galatians 6:4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else,

Next is Competitive Measurement- If we don't get it right, our kids won't either. Competing against eachother divides teams, parents/families, churches, friends. Galatians 5:14-15 says, The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

The solution to all of this????? Measure Up!! Assess yourself honestly!! Ask, "Am I part of the problem??" Romans 12:3 says- For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. If you are a woman who brags about your children, husband, money, house, or material possessions....than you are causing those you brag to, to sin. You are a stumbling block in their lives. Read Romans 14:13-23....verse 19 says "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Think before you speak....if you know your friend has less money than you, don't talk about all your money. If you know your friends child, isn't quite as far along as yours, don't brag about all that your child knows. etc etc etc. Just keep silent in an effort to promote peace, and mutual edification.

We need to turn any of these wrong attitudes into compassion...... Luke 6:37-38 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." I LOVE this verse!!!!!

Lastly, Ephesians 3:19-20 says " and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"

As women, we are so worried about "measuring".....is my child cuter than yours, is my child smarter than yours, is my home better than yours, is my husband more romantic than yours, do I have more money than the next woman.....etc etc etc. The list could go on and on. But just as the last verse mentioned says, our only measure needs to be on the fullness of God in our lives. How awesome is God to put in the next verse, that while we are measuring everything out, he can do SO much in our lives, it is IMMEASURABLE!!!! We serve a wonderful awesome God!! So don't measure yourself to other women, just look to God, and ask Him to show you the mother and wife he wants you to be. As long as you are doing what God wants, the other "stuff" doesn't matter!!!!!!